Basic Bitch Avocado Toast

alison-marras-361028-unsplashI’ve said it before, this isn’t a food blog, but since I’m a millennial basic bitch at heart, there’s nothing I love more than a trendy little Instagram worthy brunch option. To be honest, I don’t know why everyone loses their minds over avocado, they don’t taste like anything and they’re actually pretty finicky little pricks. “I’m ripe – just kidding – ok, for real this time – actually no, now I’m rotten – no guacamole for you today, Susan!”

There are so many different versions of avocado toast. This is mine. Enjoy!

Basic Bitch Avocado Toast

Yields one (single girl) serving


  • 1 ripe avocado
  • 1 tsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 tsp chili flakes
  • 2 slices of turkey bacon
  • 1 egg
  • 1/3 cup of part skim mozzarella (optional, but why would anyone omit the cheese?)
  • 1 slice whole grain bread (my personal fav is Dave’s Killer Bread, I’ve linked it here)
  • 1 tsp of Frank’s Red Hot Chili Lime sauce (or any preferred hot sauce)
  • Salt & Pepper to taste


Go to your local grocery store and squeeze 32 avocados (no more, no less), then get out your lunar calendar and try to pick the exact date and time, depending on the solstice schedule of course, that you plan on making this recipe, because we all know that you only have a 30 minute window when your avocado will be of perfect ripeness. Mash your perfectly ripe avocado in a small bowl with the olive oil, chili flakes and salt and pepper, set aside. Cook 2 slices of turkey bacon, toast bread and fry one egg, over easy. Layer the toast with avocado mash, turkey bacon and egg, sprinkling the mozzarella on top for melty goodness. Finish with a drizzle of hot sauce and get your iPhone out to start snapping pics for your Insta feed!

BRAVOCADO, you’ve just completed basic bitch brunch training day one 👍🏼🥑

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