Used to count sheep, now I count aches and pains.

Adulting (v): to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals (paying off that credit card debt, settling beef without blasting social media, etc). Exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time. -Curtesy of Urban Dictionary If you're a millennial, or even remotely of that era, I can guarantee you've … Continue reading Used to count sheep, now I count aches and pains.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Crap, I might actually really like you.

During my tumultuous journey to find a suitable companion to grow old and miserable with, I ended up kissing quite a few toads (serves me right for having always looked for love in the swamp). Having been single for a number of years and having virtually no luck in the love department, I was finally … Continue reading Roses are red. Violets are blue. Crap, I might actually really like you.

I definitely forgot to tell the kitchen about your shellfish allergy.

I show up for my shift at the restaurant where I work as a part-time server 15 minutes early, not knowing what kind of night I have in store. Is the restaurant going to be fully reserved? Is the kitchen going to be short staffed? Am I going to have to serve an entire minor … Continue reading I definitely forgot to tell the kitchen about your shellfish allergy.